it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
