When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
