Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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