hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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