My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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