i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize