A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
