If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
