Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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