i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
