hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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