i jhust puked up my retainher.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
its liver damage thursday
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
