Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize