you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
