Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
