Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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