So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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