What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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