What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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