I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The chlamydia really affected his face.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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