I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
where are my eyebrows?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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