belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
