Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
