im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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