do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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