She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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