it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
