we have officially lost it.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
