The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
