We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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