I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
