Little spoons don't ask big questions
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
