2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
