They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize