Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My dick has a subreddit
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
