Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize