Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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