my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
