im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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