i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
