Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Fuck appropriateness.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
