Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
