They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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