I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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