so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
