This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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