i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
