now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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