It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
