Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
