She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
