Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
