if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
