wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize