By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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