i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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