I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
