You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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