wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
