The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize