Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
